It’s no secret that I excel at the fine art of financial domination and that I am preeminently skilled when it comes to masterfully and artfully carving up My pigs into tasty and delicious bacon. But I have to say, you little bitches really impressed Me last week on Niteflirt. Not only did you boys spend almost 4 times My earnings goal for the week, but we had a fucking amazing time doing it! A few little losers stood out of the crowd …
Now Friday night was pretty fucking special because I totally fell in love with this luscious, lusty Aussie piglet that is bound to become one of the crowning jewels in My tiara of destruction. He went out all night and partied his ass off, came home and slept for a few hours and called Me for a truly epic forced intox session. I put that little fucker on the shot clock of death (Aussie edition) and ran him around for over 3 hours before he passed out and I drained everything that was left from his Niteflirt account while he snored softly into the phone. But you’ll be hearing more about this little gem later … he’s already hooked on Me in the worst possible way.
Then there was this new foot fetish weirdo that loves to play raise the rate. Normally I’m not all that big on raise the rate because 1) I just tell you to pay what I want, when I want, and I always get My way, and 2) I usually hang up on you idiots just for fun so I can dish out twice the humiliation when you crawl back like a sad, little puppy. And you always fucking crawl back, usually even more desperate because you’ve finally met a Woman that doesn’t need your stupid ass and that happily rubs Her dominance in your fucking little loser face. In any event, I’m great at raise the rate, just like I am at every fucking thing else I put My mind to doing. Really! I’m so good at what I do that sometimes it’s just downright fucking painful. Well, painful for you.
Naturally, there was a bunch of other dummies blowing up My phone all fucking weekend, but I’m not in the mood to be handing out honorable mentions right now. Make the fucking honor roll or try harder next time. I will say that it was a fucking great week as far as mp3 sales went and I’m glad that you twits are enjoying the fuck out of My Homewrecking and Poppers Forced Intox offerings. I’ll be updating more this week, so keep your wallets handy. And Sunday, in particular, was a great mp3 day. I’m not shocked that you little degenerates love to worship Me on the Lord’s day. We both know that I’m the only higher power of which you are aware.
And last, but certainly not least, I wanna give a big shout out and lots of love to stevie and TinyTim. They’re working tirelessly on My Niteflirt feedback. And they’ve each committed themselves to leaving Me the maximum number of feedbacks allowed per user per day (3) on Niteflirt! I definitely know how to put you morons to good use. And I play the long game, so there’s always some empire building to be done!
And a big shout out for a job well-done to stevie and tinytim for some great Niteflirt feedback this week! pic.twitter.com/FudzVcHVjE
— Porsha Rajal (@ForcedIntoxDiva) June 29, 2015
My life was obviously pretty fucking fabulous when I wasn’t toying with you idiots. One of My best friends from high school was in town and we went out and blew a bunch of money on great meals featuring even better conversations. It was exceptionally cool to realize after all of this time that we’re both still demanding, entitled, ball-breaking bitches. And summer is definitely in full-swing. I had to break out the seriously waterproof mascara to avoid the smudge. Fortunately Error’s credit card has long lived inside My Sephora account, so I have a great stockpile of all of My expensive makeup favorites. In the coming weeks I’m looking forward to some serious salon services and finally adding to My collection of sun dresses. And I’m entertaining an invitation to the lake over the 4th of July weekend. So do what you love doing, and spend, spend, spend! See you on Niteflirt!
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